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|Tuesday, June 19th, 2007|
|Jordan Kenneth Russ
On March 30 at 8:05 pm, my first son was born. He was 19 inches long and 8 and a half pounds. He rocks.
|Monday, June 7th, 2004|
okay. everyone gonna come down to savannah's
monday night and see a couple of my friends' bands play. if you're around the albany area that is.
|Monday, April 5th, 2004|
damn, ten years is a long time, i guess that means i'm an old man. at least people still notice.
|Monday, February 9th, 2004|
everyone check this out and i'll promise i'll start writing again real soon. I've just had another one of those "phoenix moments" so as soon as i get organized, you'll hear from me. If you can't wait that long (and who can), IM me <EAGLESECOND>
|Tuesday, January 7th, 2003|
|happy new year's
do two wrongs make a right??
was it in some way right??
will it be???
will i be?
|Wednesday, January 1st, 2003|
|Monday, December 2nd, 2002|
|faithful and graceful
i ran into two old friends at best buy. one had a baby 10 months ago, and one is having a baby tomorrow. life deals some pretty unforgiving hands sometimes. i guess we split company on bad terms years ago, but all that was erased by time. she asked about the drqagon she drew for me, and i told her its still hanging above my desk. i still care about them both and wish nothing but the best for them. they are good people.
and i bought my car, 91 ford probe!! greenish
|Saturday, February 16th, 2002|
|Wednesday, January 23rd, 2002|
it's been a week with no heroin, the withdrawl is fading fast, and other than this terrible flu i feel great. that's all i have to say right now.
|Wednesday, January 16th, 2002|
|agony part II
one day i'll learn... i'm going through another bought of severe withdrawl. fucking drug dealers need to have morning hours for us school kids. one more hour then i can try to score some. i'm gonna die long before then. AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! sitting in class is not working for me at all. nothing i can do will make it feel any better. god, give me some fucking methadone or something. i feel like leonardo dicaprio in the basketball diaries, screaming futily, flailing ineffectually at nothing and everything. damn it just one little bump and this will all go away.... please, god hear me and deliver some dope into my veins. i am in hell, a hell of my own creation. i just want something to take my mind of this unquenchable discomfort.
all of classes so far have repeated the same shit. how to log in the computer systems here. i've known this since last august. five fucking times i've heard this shit. god it's only been ten minutes. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
!!!!! someday i'll look at this and be like, wow, thank god that's over. but until then i'm fucked. she's explaining how to use a disk drive. a fucking disk drive. no wonder i'm on LJ during class.
i just saw Blow last night for the first time. that has thw saddest ending of any movie EVER. i cried for like an hour. it felt kinda purifying. i had to watch all the bonus material and the entire movie again with commentary. for those of you that haven't seen it, george jung promises his daughter he'll take her to california, and spends the two days previous doing one more smuggler's run to mexico so he'll have enough money for the both of them. he gets set-up by his old friends and sent to jail while his daughter waits for him with her suitcases packed. every day in jail, he tells the warden to make sure she is on the visitors' list, convinced that today is the day she'll come. one day she shows up and they talk in this field part of the prison, but when the camera pans back, he's alone, confused as to where she's gone. he is called to lock down and the jailer says 'maybe tomorrow' the captions at the end say that he will be in jail till 2015 and that his daughter never came to visit. so... kristina sunshine jung, if through some unheard of coincidence you're reading this, go visit your dad. please.
some good quotes from the movie: 'life is like an ocean, you have to drown in it to fully appreciate its power' 'you know that 50 grand i promised you? well, i couldn't come up with it. (pause) i brought 75.' 'the toxicity level in humans is one to one and a half grams. i've done ten in ten minutes. i must have a high tolerance'
that helped a bit. 15 more minutes. i can do it. god i hope she has some. please have some. PLEASE. gnawing my nails now. out of candy. the good news i haven't smoked weed in quite a while. i guess heroin is a safe alternative. right. all the computers here are fucked. i accidently told my unix prof that. i guess 'fucked' isn't the technical term. i like being able to play on a computer during class. my 8oclock class ... SUCKS. mad easy tho. 9oclock.. cool. noon ... okay for economics, actually pretty good. 1 oclock ... the class i've been waiting for. ****homework- tutorial 1 access***** 2 oclock - shitty, but i only have to show up for the midterm and final. i may just do that. okay gotta go. wish me luck, no don't i understand.... peeace!!!!!!!!!!!!
|Friday, January 4th, 2002|
hey, all you regular readers of the misery of Kenn ( and you irregular ones) : I've started a new LJ to reflect a new attitude. _Phoenix_ is my screen name, so enjoy.
|Thursday, December 27th, 2001|
|Thursday, December 20th, 2001|
i'm in trouble.
i absolutely love heroin.
i shot it for the first two times tonight.
nodding off.... goodnight.
|Monday, December 17th, 2001|
"in the city, where angels fear to hover and devils come to croon,
the sex of the night lets down her black narcotic hair under a
yellow opium moon."
"but when the city drops into night, things so very, very wrong seem oh so right."
i don't even feel guilty, either. i'm almost proud in my twisted sort of way. i really love to do drugs. my best friends don't really do fun drugs, but everyone else i know does. i hate hiding shit from people too. anyway...
i passed first semester. at the last fuckin minute. my eco teacher let me write my research paper in class the last day and actually gave me a grade. i got an 85 in math 97 and 84 on the last two tests. and i have a chance to write my english papers by tomorrow morning.
|Friday, December 14th, 2001|
fuckin' wow dude! "they say it's so you good, don't even do it once". i can't believe how fucking surreal the experience is. i'm so warm and comfortable. i zone out into an almost dreamlike state vert vivid and semi controlable. i want to curl up with someone.going to sleep now. i've had a lovely evening.
|Monday, October 29th, 2001|
well, i got fired. for smoking pot and drinking a beer on the clock. i feel like a jackass. i sorta asked for my job back at johnny rockets. i'm not sure what i want to do yet. i spent the whole weekend organizing myself. i feel much better now. since i stopped giving a fuck, i've met so many people. just not caring what people think of me and saying whatever i feel like, offensive or not. usually not. through some divine action, my next english paper has to compare and contrast two styles of music. i am in danger of failing that class, but this could save me. i need a car so badly... i need money. i got weed though!! dank-ass fragrant blueberry bud. if i knew how to insert a picture here i would. mm-mmmm-gooood. oh well... onward to dreamland.
p.s. where is lily?? Current Mood: productive
|Wednesday, October 24th, 2001|
|family values baby!!
holy shit! Stone temple pilots still remember how to rock! they only played 2 or 3 new songs, the redst was off core. they kicked fuckin ass. staind was a bit dissappointing tho, even tho i was front row. oh well. i realized i never write in this thing anymore, so i'll give y'all that notice me an update:
1. i'm getting my licence in two weeks!! i'm going to visit all my friends all over the country (if they evr write back - hint,hint) i'm probably going to have a pice o' shit car, but who cares. it's wheels.
2. i fucking hate my english class. stupid fucking essays. i have to write one that's pushing two weeks late. the only redeeming quality of that class was this chick julia, and i just found out she does mad heroin AND has a boyfriend, so whatever...
3. i met this really great chick nicole, and i really want her. i'm not sure how she feels tho. she rocks, she loves metal, and she has no fear of anything. plus she's hot as hell. we'll see on this one...
4. w o r k d r a g s o n w a r d
5. one of my bestest friends online hasn't been on for almost a month, i'm starting to worry about her...
6. i'm out of time... lATER..... Current Mood: hungry
|Saturday, October 13th, 2001|
hi. i'm really fuckin bored. no one is online now. i'm going to bed. g'night.
|Saturday, September 22nd, 2001|
|morbid poetry from yesteryear
" tears of blood " 2-15-96
making me want to cry
left alone and
making me want to die
escaping life(escape fom life)
wanting to run and hide
feeling so lost inside
feeling that i have died
feelings i cannot hide
like tears of blood from my eye
forming a river
that i'm drowning inside
see me dead
see you laughing
all of the times you lied
just tears of blood in my eye
you took my heart
and ripped it open
nothing but love inside
wondering why i cried
a stairway to heaven
how did i get to hell
screaming to no one
something i just can't tell
chained in love's vicious cell
dying my body fell
with tears of blood in my eye